Children by the Dill Tree
Kids everywhere.
-Running, screaming, wearing antennae hats, climbing all over the place, playing with our dog...
Cuteness everywhere.
-Sadness & Hope.
Visiting my brother in Sherman Oaks, we went a local park to hang out and as soon as we arrived, despite the beautiful weather, I immediately noticed the kids that were everywhere...
Parents were hanging out too - young professionals, stay-at-home moms, and others. I had a good time ultimately, playing frisbee with my bro, but ended up talking about the usual infertility stuff with my bro's gf. Usual stuff, no new insights or anything except for the discussion about some of the hard-core emotional problems adopted kids sometimes get. She runs a school in LA for kids that are emotionally disturbed, and has seen it 1st hand - some of these kids can be pretty rough. But, when you're in our shoes, we'll take our chances and we feel confident that we'll be able to raise our adopted child in an environment with enough openness that they'll be able to grow into themselves despite being of a different race/culture than their parents. I think we are comfortable enough to let our kids experience their native culture as they grow up, and it will be nice for us as well, since we love experiencing different cultures - especially their food. We're not worried about that stuff. We just want a chance!
It's totally a non-issue.
-David
-Running, screaming, wearing antennae hats, climbing all over the place, playing with our dog...
Cuteness everywhere.
-Sadness & Hope.
Visiting my brother in Sherman Oaks, we went a local park to hang out and as soon as we arrived, despite the beautiful weather, I immediately noticed the kids that were everywhere...
Parents were hanging out too - young professionals, stay-at-home moms, and others. I had a good time ultimately, playing frisbee with my bro, but ended up talking about the usual infertility stuff with my bro's gf. Usual stuff, no new insights or anything except for the discussion about some of the hard-core emotional problems adopted kids sometimes get. She runs a school in LA for kids that are emotionally disturbed, and has seen it 1st hand - some of these kids can be pretty rough. But, when you're in our shoes, we'll take our chances and we feel confident that we'll be able to raise our adopted child in an environment with enough openness that they'll be able to grow into themselves despite being of a different race/culture than their parents. I think we are comfortable enough to let our kids experience their native culture as they grow up, and it will be nice for us as well, since we love experiencing different cultures - especially their food. We're not worried about that stuff. We just want a chance!
It's totally a non-issue.
-David
6 Comments:
I think this blog may be the first of its kind. Kudos to you for doing it. Are you leaving your other blog behind, out of curiosity? I ask because I wonder if I ought to replace it with this one in my sidebar or to add this one as well.
Call us! We'd love to hear from you.
By
Unknown, at 2:08 AM
Hi honey it is your little woman here.....I think that Julie works specifically with "problem" children to begin with so she is going to see the "problem" children rather than the rest of the normal adopting community. It is a little bit of a stereotype about the children who are adopted with an attached disorder. So hopefully you misunderstood her message. I am sure our children will be fine if not I will log my complaints with the G-ds upstairs....they hate it when they see me coming as we are all on a first name basis at this point in our lives.
-alexhere from the kitchens of the infertile gourmet
By
Anonymous, at 10:09 AM
Hi,
Chasmyn sent me here, kinda. I read her blog on occasion and she mentioned you, so she's responsible for me coming by.
So....
to sound really geeky and all that, I'm infertile as well; we tried IVF stuff (ICSI and donor sperm) and we've adopted two kids and are on our way to adopting another.
I'd be happy to share info on kids and attachment if you've got questions. Our kids are wonderful and if they have any problems it probably has more to do with me being a crappy parent than them being adopted.
I'll be back!
By
Silly Old Bear, at 1:23 PM
We're in the same kind of boat. My wife has endometriosis, and we've tried IVF-- we're pretty sure we got screwed by the doc we went to, but that's a different story-- but we're on the adoption track now, and trying to improve our financial outlook somewhat.
We've gone to several adoption workshops, and I think you've hit it right on the head: openness and interest in experiencing things. Good luck-- I hope things go well and smoothly!
-chess h
By
Anonymous, at 7:11 PM
Good luck on your journey! I am an adoptive parent and we adopted transracially. I just want to agree w/ the other comments that a lot of kids can have emotional problems whether they were adopted or not. I would think the numbers are actually in favor of adopted children being more emotionally stable. I mean, how many other parents have to go through what we do to become parents? Adoptive parents must be the most qualified around! *a little tongue in cheek* But, in all seriousness, in hindsight, all of the infertility issues (RE appts., surgeries, shots, etc...) and then all of the adoption issues (homestudies, birthmother letters, agencies, lawyers, social workers, etc...)really prepared us to be parents. I don't take for granted the crying in the middle of church. I wanted to be able to carry out a screaming baby! I don't mind when my son throws food around the house just so I can pick it up and make him laugh. I wanted to hear the laugh of a child in my home.
So, I wish you well. It is full of ups and downs but I hear that sometimes it is for those *fertile* people as well!
Christy---sometimes I read blogs early in the morning. I followed link to link to link and somehow ended up here. Thanks for sharing!
By
Anonymous, at 8:03 AM
We are on the adoption journey and I have been reading a coupole of good books. "Dim Sum, Bagels and Grits" covers a lot of ground and is an easy read. "Inside Transracial Adoption" is not an easy read, but very good. The problem addressed by many Korean adoptees that are grown up is the fact that many white parents raised them white, ignoring both race and culture. Dim Sum has some really good ideas about integrating culture. The idea of raising children of a different race as white, sadly, still exists today. Additionally, white parents are more often to think that we live in a color blind society. I am white, live in a big, diverse city, but am very aware that this "blindness" does not exist.
Lastly, I'm a special ed teacher and I have seen more bio children with emotional issues than adopted. Foster children seem to have the most, but this is not hard science.
By
Anonymous, at 5:10 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home